Disco Disturbia

trouserweasel:

damn right I did

Child: mommy I'm sick
Mom: yaaaaas bitch cause I am what? SICKENING
child: but mommy I've been throwing up
Mom: yaaaaaaaaaaas bitch gag on my eleganza

idkrn:

hiddleswiggles:

That’s good service.

We shall never deny a guess even the most ridiculous request..

shego:

shout out to people who have seen you naked but you can still have regular conversations with

maleeshda3wa:

yayasmeen:

I think my selfie problem is getting out of hand..

This deserves at least a thousand notes !!

peaceloveandbrittana:

toddlers are essentially just drunk college kids

Sometimes i am Bob, sometimes i am Linda.

ratchetmessreturns:

Bitches be like: My shit layed!

howtobeterrell:

Lol

buttchunks:

Starships were meant to fly

caseyanthonyofficial:

*Gets anon hate*

beautyyytime:

Why one eyebrow always comin out Gucci and the other eyebrow comin out Walmart

cumslayer:

cumslayer:

So I went on a date today and we went to a nice restaurant before going to the movies and I ordered the “iced grape popsicles” for dessert because I love grape Popsicles so why not right?…..so the waiter brings out the “iced grape popsicles” aND THEY WERE LITERALLY 3 FROZEN GRAPES ON STICKS…..I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE OFFENDED IN MY LIFE…SINCE WHEN ARE 3 FUCKING FROZEN GRAPES IN A FUCKING VASE AN ACCEPTABLE SINGLE DESSERT ORDER..ITS NOT EVEN FROZEN GRAPE JUICE OR SOMETHING ITS LITERALLY JUST A 0.02$ GRAPE THAT WAS PUT ON A STICK THEN FROZEN…LIKE SOMEONE ACTUALLY WROTE THIS DOWN ON THE MENU THINKING “OH YEAH PEOPLE FUCKING LOVE COLD GRAPES” AND SOME OTHER ASSHAT SAID “BRAH. HEAR ME OUT, HOW ABOUT WE PUT THEM ON STICKS AND SERVE THEM IN A VASE WITH NOTHING ELSE” LIKE YOU COULDNT EVEN SERVE IT WITH A FUCKING SECOND FRUIT OR EVEN FUCKING LEAVES OR WHATEVER… IM SO MAD. FUCKING FROZEN GRAPES ON A STICK.

AND THEY WERENT EVEN SEEDLESS GRAPES…..

sextnoise:

Does anyone else lie in bed at 2:30am filled with the crippling fear that they’re never going to accomplish anything in life and fail miserably or is that just me

no im just scared of the monster thats under my bed

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